Miscellaneous: November 2007 Archives

We went to Charlie’s this morning for breakfast. It’s a weekly ritual with us. Every single Friday, we go to Charlie’s for fresh bagels, juice of some sort, and really good coffee. It’s kind of our way of celebrating the end of the week and the upcoming weekend.

This morning, we sat in front of the fire. Just a couple of tables over was another couple - man and wife I presume, and 60-65ish. My back was to the fire and I was facing their table. No big deal. But, he kept staring at me, and not in a good way. I could tell exactly what he was thinking. And when I say staring, I mean constant staring.

The entire affair reminded me of an incident that happened to us years ago when we lived in San Francisco. We were walking down Market Street, and stopped at this Asian restaurant that we would visit now and then. This man came in and started staring at us. He then walked over to our table, and not so politely asked if we were “fags” (how can one put that politely?). We basically ignored him, but he was quite persistent. We didn’t want trouble, so we continued to ignore him. He then went over to this lady that was sitting at her table. Her boyfriend was at the register paying their bill. He asked her if she was disgusted, as he was, at the site of a couple of “fags” in the restaurant. She replied, “It doesn’t bother me at all.” He then said to her, “Why? Are you queer also?” In disgust, she looked at him, and stated, “I don’t think that’s any of your business.” He then said, “So you are gay!” But then her boyfriend returned, thereby answering the mans question that apparently she was not gay.

During this entire time, the restaurant managers/owners just watched, and did nothing. The man finally left. Our meal was basically ruined because I just wanted to get out of there. We left without eating, or paying the bill. And, we never went back.

I vowed over the years that if the same thing ever happened, I would say something because I was sick and tired of that crap. So this morning, when the man kept starring at the gay couple by the fire, I thought about looking right at him and saying with some attitude and force, “TAKE A PICTURE! IT LASTS LONGER!!!” But, I didn’t. I realized that the fire I had inside of me has been replaced by something more powerful. It’s the issue that people of lesser minds no longer really find a place on my radar. My way of dealing with things like this is the reality that intolerant and stupid people will eventually die. And, they are usually older people of the last generation. Why should I even bother with them? After all, they are simply trying to ruin my day to prop themselves up, and that can only happen if I give them the power to do so. And that can only happen if I acknowledge that they matter. They don’t.

I feel sorry for people like that. No, I really do. If they are that consumed with people like Kent and myself that they completely forget to enjoy their own breakfast and tend to their own damn lives, then how much more of life are they missing?

I am enjoying my new Inno XM radio. I’m probably addicted to XM radio, but it has everything for me... talk radio, classical, jazz, news... But I’ve got to stop buying them. My car has one. That’s where I really got hooked on XM. My car has it built in and when I got the car, it came with 3 full months of XM radio, for “free”. It actually was free. But the problem is, after the 3 months were up, I simply couldn’t live without it.

So today, I have one in my car, one in my home that is hooked into my stereo system, and this new one. The one I have at home is a portable. The only issue is, you need a special headphone for it that has a built in antenna that talks to the satellites. I worry about having something like that riding on top of my head when I’m using it. This new radio has an antenna built in so that all you really listen through are ear buds. Much better. Outside, the reception is good. Inside, I still need the antenna hooked up, but it works well when I’m at work.

Now, I have to organize a bit to get my photo calendar in shape. I put one together every year and give it as gifts. Christmas came fast for me this year. I’m not ready. And, I was just informed that I will get my 20-year award this year at work. I remember when I started working at my company, and it doesn’t seem like 20 years. Life goes by fast. You have to live each day to it’s fullest!

I haven’t felt much like sharing lately. In fact I’ve been in a bit of a slump lately. Perhaps it’s just the cold weather. I went in for a check up yesterday. This is from an appointment a month ago when my blood pressure was 170/110. I was having severe headaches. My doctor put me on medication, and this was a check to see if it was working. It must be because now I’m at 118/80. I’m feeling better and the headaches are gone.

Other than that, I’m coping with things. Work is going ok. It’s busy but it makes the days go fast. I’m trying to get into the presidential candidates but quite honestly, none of them really excite me. I suppose it’s because I’m not sure any of them can make a difference anymore. All of the Republican candidates are merely rehashing Bush’s policies. I still can’t believe our country has come to a point that we are trying to justify our actions by debating whether or not water boarding is torture. Quite unbelievable actually that we have come to this point.

It’s been a really busy Thanksgiving for us. It’s funny how the days you are not working can seem more hectic and stressful than work days. This has been a good time for me, and a time of reflection. You know how you go through a long period of your life and it all seems to be on the same plane? Well, it’s been that way for me for a long while. But I’ve come to realize that I’m in a period of change.

Work has changed a great deal for me. My staff is completely different now. It’s been a big adjustment for me. I don’t think I realized how difficult it was for me to get used to the new people that work with me. For one thing, I’ve worked with the same people for a very long time. I got used to them. And, I didn’t feel the need to guard what I say around them. Strange, isn’t it? I view myself as a totally open gay man in every single area of my life. Yet, when confronted with new people, I find myself wondering how much of my personal life I should share with them. I find myself guarding what I say.

Then, I come to my senses and realize that old habits die hard. The days that I will allow myself to feel shame for my personal life are gone. I’m beyond that. But more specifically, my personal life deserves the dignity of truth. So, when I’m asked what I did for the weekend, I tell them that my partner and I did this, or that. They don’t seem to be surprised. Maybe I put out gay rays or something. At any rate, I’ve dealt with it. Now it’s their (society’s) turn to deal with it.

This Thanksgiving, we have been busy. We decided not to cook. We went to the Inn at Mystic for Thanksgiving (remember that place Mary and Sandra?). We had a great time and they serve up a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner that really is just as good as home made (and that’s saying a lot coming from me). We stayed the night in Mystic, and on the way home, Kent wanted to go by Westfarms Mall. He wanted to go by there because he felt that I needed a new computer.

A few months ago, my Sony Vaio died. It was running Windows XP. It technically didn’t die. The computer runs fine. But it’s been getting slower and slower (something that happens with Windows). One time when it went into hibernation, it never came back. I suppose I should have fixed it, but I was honestly tired of using it. So, the reason that we went to Westfarms Mall specifically was because they have a Mac store. I ended up getting a MacBook Pro. I have to say, I love it! It’s so much nicer than Windows, and I never really thought that I would find myself saying that. It’s hard to describe really, but it’s a whole new way of looking at how you work. So, this is going to most likely be my Christmas present. Anyway, this is my first blog entry with it. I’m still trying to figure out the best way to process photos with it.

In a few days, my new XM radio should arrive. It’s portable and will hold up to 50 hours of recorded programming. I’m looking forward to it. Too many gadgets in my life...

Other than that, I’m enjoying a few days off. We’ve decided to stay home this year for Christmas, and will most likely go to Arizona sometime in March to see the folks. It’s just too much of a hassle anymore to travel over the holidays, especially Christmas. You have to fight the crowds and when you get there, you are exhausted. It’s not worth it to us. Better to go later.

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!

Retired Justice Sandra Day O’Connor’s husband, who suffers from Alzheimer’s, has found a new romance, and his happiness is a relief to his wife, an Arizona TV report reveals.

The report, which quoted the couple’s oldest son, Scott O’Connor, focused on Alzheimer’s patients who forget their spouses and fall in love with someone else. Experts say the scenario is somewhat common.

Offering a glimpse into the private life of a woman who has remained on the public stage since her Supreme Court retirement in 2006 to care for her husband, the report spotlighted John O’Connor, 77. He and the woman, referred to only as “Kay,” live at a Phoenix facility for people with Alzheimer’s. (source)

I’ve disagreed with many of Sandra Day O’Connor’s rulings over the years, but more often than not, she has been the moderate voice of the court. And by today’s court, she’s downright liberal.

I read this very touching story today about retired Justice Sandra Day O’Connor’s husband, who is suffering from Alzheimer’s. What moved me is that, even though her husband has found happiness in another woman at the care center where he lives, Justice O’Connor is happy for him and the happiness he has found.

However else you feel about Sandra Day O’Connor, you have to admit, that’s pure class.