Our Family: December 2004 Archives

We had a nice Christmas. Something happened this year that was especially nice and sweet for me.

The relationship that we have had with Kent’s parents hasn’t always been good. It has been very stressed at times. But in recent years, things have improved. So we try to see them at least once a year. His parents are both retired now and go to Yuma, Arizona during the winter months. I do have to agree, the 70 degree weather is a nice change from that of Connecticut right now.

Kent, myself, and Kent’s parents were on our way out yesterday for a walk. They live in a small retirement community and know many people there. We ran into one of their neighbors. They introduced Kent as their son. They then introduced me as “one of their other sons”. I was taken aback by that. And on our walk, I was fighting back tears a few times. I got quiet at times when I would think about it.

When we come out to our parents and to close friends, it also takes some time for them to adjust as well. If you think about it, we spent our whole lives dealing with and coming to terms with being gay. When we come out to them, they are dealing with it for the first time, if they hadn’t previously suspected it.

I had hoped that they would over time accept me, but I didn’t really think we were there. It was only a couple of years ago that I was excluded from a ceremony where Kent’s dad received an award. I made my feelings known about not being invited, since I considered myself part of the family. I guess it had some effect. Over time, we have grown closer.

So, when his mother referred to me as their “other son”, I was blown away. I didn’t know what to say. Sometimes, we get so used to fighting for acceptance, that when it finally comes, it’s hard to accept. At least, it was tough for me.

It was a long weekend for me. Kent has been in Santa Barbara all week at meetings. I managed ok, but living alone sucks. This weekend I started to get ready for our trip to San Diego on Dec. 20th. It should be fun. I stopped by and picked up a pair of travel speakers for my MP3 player and have been very busy copying music to it in preparation for the trip.

It’s snowing today - the first snow of the season. It’s not suppose to amount to much. Maybe a couple of inches at most. It feels so cold out to me.

I read this awesome letter about marriage and where it stands in California. It gave me a bit of hope that maybe someday, there will be equality.

Also, if you use diet pills when you are pregnant, a new study says that you will be more likely to have gay children. If I were reading anything into this study, my own paranoia would say that they are looking for yet another way to get rid of us (extermination by extinction?). But since I believe in the basic goodness of people, I know that they wouldn’t do anything that evil.

I also read where 12 gays are going to challenge don’t ask, don’t tell in federal court. I wish them luck in overturning it.

This week we have to call our lawyer to finish the process of putting our wills, power of attorney, and all that stuff together. I wonder, are we doing this for nothing? Are we putting together documents that can easily be contested and invalidated? I used to think you would be safe with the documents from a legal point of view. Now, I’m just not sure.

I hate to think about this. It brings me down. I’m alive, and relatively healthy. I should be happy, right? And, I’m quite proud of myself this year. Through no small effort on my part and trying to keep busy, I have managed to completely stay off anti-depressants this year. Those who have had to take such medications in the past know how difficult some of them are to deal with.

On a brighter note, I’m going to get busy planning for San Diego. I have two books to go through on all the places that you must see when you visit.

The remote control for my Nikon camera is in, so I’ll have a new toy to play with tonight, assuming I can drive my way through the slush to the mall to pick it up. I got a call from Kent saying that the power is out at home. I’ll pick up dinner at the mall.

...it’s three hours later, and the power is back on (and the heat!).

I watched 5 minutes of 7th Heaven tonight. Besides the really bad writing (and acting), the show is extremely lame. I watch a bit of it every six months or so, hoping that it will improve; hoping that on at least one episode they will talk about something in the real world, but they never do.

Then tonight it hit me. They don’t because there are still people in this country who see the American family and the world we live in as Ozzie and Harriet; a nice squeaky clean family where the worse thing that ever happens to anyone is a book report that is a day late, or the dog going on the rug (that’s a stretch for these people). The show is a success, I suppose. Like a cold sore, it just doesn’t want to go away, and keeps getting renewed year after freaking year. So, if it’s so popular in America, it’s not hard to see why American is having such a fit over gay marriage. It all makes sense, in a scary and somewhat psychotic way.