Our Family: March 2008 Archives

This morning, I received a call from a childhood friend. We have kept in touch over the years. We practically grew up together so keeping in touch with him is very important to me. He wanted me to know that my music teacher from childhood had passed away.

It's difficult to think of anyone in my life who had more influence on my passion for music than Mildred McFadden. In fact, if it wasn't for her influence in my life, I would never have known the great joy of music.

Mom took me to Mildred at that age of 7. Mom thought that I had talent. Of course, every parent thinks their children have talent. And Mildred took me in. I first started with violin, and later piano. As I got more advanced, I would play in the many recitals that Mildred would have at her home. She would have six to eight of them a year. I honestly was ok, but I didn't have a passion for it. It was yet another routine that I went through to keep busy with myself. I worked hard on a Chopin Polonaise. I was working on preparing it for the recital. Mildred said that it was beyond me, that I wasn't ready for it. She wanted me to play a Mozart sonata. I went home that night very angry because I would not be playing the Chopin at the recital. So, I pounded away at the very delicate Mozart sonata as if it were Chopin.

My next lesson came. I started playing the Mozart, and Mildred interrupted me and said, "Let me hear the Chopin." I was shocked because it was the last lesson we would have before the recital. I started playing the Chopin. I was still angry that I would not be playing it for the recital, and I played it with anger. Soon the room was engulfed with the sounds of Chopin coming from this grand piano. At some point during a very agitated part of the Polonaise, Mildred came over, placed her hands on my shoulders and said to me, "Feel the fire of that!" It was the most pivotal point in my music career. The fire she talked of was passion, and I realized that it had taken me over.

She then pulled out the program for the recital that had been printed up two weeks before. It listed me playing the Chopin. She had faith in me and knew how to motivate me, even when I didn't.

Later, when I was in high school, we would drive back and forth to Boise for rehearsals in the Boise Philharmonic. Those were great days. And on our trips over and back, we would share many stories about our experiences.

I last saw Mildred in 2005. She was 94 years hold. She stopped playing the violin, but was still actively teaching students despite the fact that she almost passed away the winter before from pneumonia. I took Kent with me to her home. She told Kent, "Bill was my star student." I didn't know what to say, but I do know what I now wished that I would have said - what I should have said.

I would have told her that she was everything to me. She was part of my family. But more than that, she showed me what life could be like with passion. She once told me, "Never be afraid to express yourself." So in expressing myself now, I want to say, thank you Mildred. Thank you so much for giving me the passion of music.

You have said that you had "a thoroughly blessed life." And you in turn gave that to me, through music. I will miss you.

Mildred Dixon McFadden Mildred H. Dixon McFadden, 97 years old, died peacefully on Wednesday, March 19, 2008, at Walter Knox Memorial Hospital, Emmett, Idaho after falling in her home.

Mrs. McFadden devoted her life to her loves of music, teaching, and foreign travel. Mildred was born to Henry and Vinnie Dixon on July 24, 1910 at Beatrice, Neb. Mildred began playing the piano at age eight. By age 17 she was teaching students across seven grades near Red Cloud, Neb. She went on to receive a degree from Neb. Wesleyan University in Lincoln, Class of 1932, with a major in Public School Music and Piano, and a minor in Violin. Following her studies she taught in Neb. for five years before moving to Glenns Ferry, Idaho, where she taught for the next nine years and where she met and fell in love with the late Jim McFadden. The two married in 1942 and in 1946 they moved to Emmett, where Jim had purchased the Gem Market. In Emmett, Mildred further devoted her life to music.

She was hired by Gem County Schools in 1950 to create a music program for the whole county; she taught in the school district for 20 years; she spent 25 years driving back and forth to Boise to play with the Philharmonic; she, until very recently, played with the Meridian Symphony; and she was active in the musical activities of both the Presbyterian and Mormon Churches. In total, Mildred taught music in the public schools of Neb. and Idaho for 35 years, instructing some 1,000 students each week. Although she retired in 1972, she continued to give private music lessons in her home, often without charge to young promising musicians, as she called them, until the time of her death.

Apart from her devotion to music and teaching, at age 45 Mildred discovered a passion for foreign travel. In the years to follow she made approximately 62 trips to some 140 foreign countries on every continent. At the age of 90 she climbed the 200 steps to the celebrated statue of Christ overlooking Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Never one to follow-the-pack, as bright and colorful as the clothes and jewelry she was known for wearing. Mildred McFadden will be missed and remembered by the many friends and family who loved her.

She is survived by nieces Alberta Hicks of Superior, Neb. Pat Lyne, of Hastings, Neb. ; nephew Kenneth Hurd, of Superior, Neb. and Rosemary Dixon, wife of her recently deceased nephew, Dr. F.Gene Dixon, of San Mateo, Calif. and their family. Mildred was always thankful for having what she referred to as "a thoroughly blessed life". The family wishes to thank her caregivers for their attention and devotion to her. Funeral arrangements are through Potter Funeral Home, 228 E. Main Street, Emmett, Idaho. Visitation will be on Thursday, March 27, 2008 from 3-8 p.m. Graveside Service will be on Friday, March 28 at 12 Noon at the Emmett Cemetery. A service to celebrate and remember her life will be held Friday, March 28, 2008 at 1 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church at 212 E. Third St. in Emmett. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in her memory to the First Presbyterian Church in Emmett or to Nebraska Wesleyan University Music Dept. 5000 Saint Paul Ave. Lincoln, NE 68504-2796

Yes, we are alive and well.

Vacations are exhausting. At least this one was for me. We went to the Grand Canyon again this year. The last time was three years ago. We stayed for two full days, then off to Monument Valley in the very southern part of Utah. It was an interesting experience and one that I'd recommend to anyone who loves the outdoors. Then, we were off to Sedona, Arizona for the remainder of the trip to visit with the folks and to see the canyon again. The last time we were there, we simply passed through the area, only stopping briefly. Not a lot happens in Sedona, but it's a great experience for a nature photographer. There's lots of subject matter. Sedona was really the only time that we had to relax a bit. Someday, I would like to take a vacation where I go and basically do nothing, where every single day is not planned out with a time table.

I took many photos. I'm a bit ashamed to say how many, but rest assured, that once I've gone through them, I'll post them up to my Flickr account for anyone to see.

Speaking of which, it's amazing to me how the Internet brings certain aspects together. For example, last night I received this email about a photo that I posted in June of 2007 of a street performer in Seattle. That was on our vacation to the Olympic National Park last summer. A comment was posted on the photo that said, "Thank you for taking and posting this photo! My name is Emery Carl and I am your performer." I was thinking, "How on earth did he ever find that?" I didn't post his name because I didn't know his name. Just strange. He put his web site in the link. I usually don't like advertising placed in my photos, but I figure it's ok. I did after all use his photo.

Since getting home, life has not slowed down for us. Kent is working late most nights at work on committees. I am trying to catch up after being out of the office for over a week. On top of that, I had to turn my car in because it's lease expired. I was attached to it. This new car his just too much intelligence built into it. This is the exact interior of my new car, color and all. The exterior is a deep burgundy.

I've tried to get back into political issues while returning. The Monday we got home, the Connecticut Supreme Court was hearing about the lack of benefits that the state civil unions offer. You can read the excerpts from the story or not. They are the ones that caught my eye...

Eager to celebrate their partnership, Tracy and Katy Weber Tierney were among the first in line when Connecticut created civil unions three years ago as a way to formalize same-sex relationships without using the word “marriage.”

But when Tracy was giving birth to their son, Jake, five months ago, a hospital employee inquired whether she was “married, single, divorced or widowed.”

“I’m in a civil union,” she replied. When the employee checked “single,” Tracy protested. “I’m actually more married than single,” she said, leaving the employee flustered about how to proceed. [...]

For Jean Csvihinka, 48, who works at a bank in Milford, getting a civil union meant paying tax on an additional $6,000 a year. Ms. Csvihinka said that adding her partner, Gina Bonfietti, 43, a self-employed piano technician, to her health insurance obligated her to pay a federal tax on the value of the additional coverage that married couples would not owe, and that since the civil union she has also had to pay tax on her daughters’ coverage even though the girls were on her plan, tax-free, before. She said she was told that “it’s a systems issue.” [...]

Jeffrey Busch, a lawyer who is also a plaintiff in the case, said that he and his partner, Stephen Davis, reluctantly obtained a civil union for the sake of their son, Eli. “It was an awful experience,” Mr. Busch said. “In order to get those rights, we had to make a public declaration of inferiority. [...]

The case turns on whether same-sex couples should be treated as a “suspect class” — groups like minorities and women that have experienced discrimination — which could lead to heightened legal scrutiny of the decision to offer separate institutions. In oral arguments before a Supreme Court panel, the assistant attorney general said the number of “prominent politicians who are openly gay and lesbian” proves that homosexuals are not “politically powerless,” one of the requirements of a suspect class; that caused one justice to quip, “If it were true political power,” they would have already won the right to marry. [...]

And my all time favorite.....

The state also argues that the plaintiffs have no case because they are free to marry, just not to someone of the same sex, and that there is no gender discrimination because men and women are equally constrained. (source)

Wait a minute... we can marry anyone we want as long as they are opposite sex? That's "sanctity of marriage"? I find myself singing that Tina Turner song... "...what's love got to do with it...".

So I was eating lunch on that Monday that all this was happening. I was a bit down because I found myself once again thinking thoughts like... "it's so unfair...", "maybe we should just get the damned civil union...", etc. Then, while sitting in the sandwich shop, there was some news story on the radio about something. I actually don't remember what, but some guy said, "I have to do the best with what I'm allowed." I started thinking about that. Monetarily, we are doing well. I feel second class, but I really started to think about what that man said. And I can do that. I can do the best with what I'm allowed. It's this one thing, and it's really only an issue for me personally because we are in that age group that marriage equality and the kinds of rights marriage offers are important to us for security. Love has little to do with it. Would it enhance the love we have for each other? No. Would it give us a sense of belonging to something besides just ourselves? Yes. I think an acceptance from society of us, together, as a couple, is important. I've come to the conclusion that that was the "hope" that Harvey Milk talked about, coming together as people. Acceptance.

Just my thoughts. But I try these days to protect myself a bit. I expect that the couples challenging will lose the case, and life will go on. If I'm wrong, then I'll celebrate. If I'm not, I haven't invested a lot of emotional weight on the issue. I've stopped caring about it, other than, it's current news happening in the state. The Supreme Court of Connecticut will probably rule that "it's an issue for the legislature", after the shit hit the fan from the Massachusetts Supreme Court ruling for marriage equality. They won't want to be labeled, as that court was, as an "activist court". What ever.

Health wise, we are doing well. Well, kind of. My blood pressure is good now, with a bit of help from medication. Cholesterol could be better. I'm working on that. You know, diet, exercise. It's hard to do with my career choice which is mental and non-physical. I have to go back in three months for blood work again. Oh, and the doctor reminded me that at the end of the year, it's time for that colonoscopy again. Oh Joy!!! The last time that happened, I had two alarms fire off while I had a panic attack before hand (did I say I'm hospital phobic?), which scared the crap out of the nurses so bad that they gave me Demerol to calm me down. It didn't suck. And, the alarms stopped. Something to look forward to.

It's nice to be home again.