We are back from Yuma, Arizona and really enjoyed the warm weather there. It was around 75 most days and for the most part, sunny. Later in the week that we were there, we went to Ajo, Arizona, a sleepy little place that has little going for it. The people there are very poor and there's little there in terms of places to stay or eat. But, it's close to a place that we wanted to see, Organ Pipe National Monument.

Here are a few photos we took...

An organ pipe cactus

I've grown to like the beauty of the desert a great deal. And since my operation, I've become very sensitive to cold weather. I have less tolerance for it.

Health wise, I'm feeling good. I've lost about 50 pounds. My diet is completely different from the "old days" before my operation. I seem to be getting my energy back. I'm not quite like I was before, but I've reconciled myself with the fact that I may not get that back. As long as I pace myself, I'm fine. But gone are the days where I can put work first, and put in a twelve hour day without it having consequences.

The down side right now is that I have fluid in my right lung that seem to have the doctors more concerned than I am. I had to go in for another X-Ray today. They first noticed it before I went to Arizona. I had hoped that they dry air of Arizona would clear it up. But that didn't happen. It's not causing pain. I can breathe without effort. So what's the problem? Anyway, my doctor is consulting with my cardiologist who has stated that "the heart is involved" with this issue, whatever that means. And he is consulting with the cardiac surgeon about it. So, we'll see where it goes.

Other news... this issue of heart disease (took me a long time to come to terms with saying that I have heart disease) apparently runs in my family. I knew that. My father died of a heart attack when he was 47 years old back in 1961. Everyone attributed it to over work, but they didn't know much about it back then (keep in mind that this was in Emmett, Idaho).

But now, my brother is having issues. He's four years older than me. He's a veteran, so he's in the VA health care system. They flew him to Seattle to do an angiogram, just like me. And, they found that he has three blocked arteries and will have to go through a triple bypass. The difference is, he doesn't have the health that I did when I went in for bypass. That's about all I can say about it without violating his privacy. We've grown very close over the last few years and it's hard for me to see him go through this. I plan to go to Idaho again this summer, probably in June or July.

Our back yard this morning...

Well, I usually don't do portraits, especially of myself.

This was taken last Sunday, after almost two months of recovery from double bypass surgery, and a haircut. My hair was getting longer and longer and I was starting to look bad, and, I was in a real slump. So, I decided to get a haircut. My stylist, Pedro, looked at me and said, "Oh my God!". That kind of said it all, so you can imagine how I looked. While I was there, he wanted to color it up a bit (ok, a LOT). I told him to have fun. Boy, did he! A color, highlight, and what is called a "glaze" to put a shine on the hair. This is what we ended up with.

It's been a battle to get to this point, and it's not over yet. I'm physically feeling less pain now because my sternum is finally on the mend, and I'm off all pain medications, taking my walks, and I've lost 37 pounds (and counting). So I thought it would be a good time to capture this historic moment!

I have cardiac rehab orientation a week from this Friday. After that, I go in for an initial 20 sessions to see what exercise I can do without killing myself. I'm told it's grueling, but I'm looking forward to it. I'm tired of walking on eggshells. I want to do something.

I've been working from home, which has actually kept my sanity. My place of work has been amazing through this whole ordeal, and if by chance they read this, I'd like to tell them specifically, Thank you! They are really compassionate people.

When we were in Norfolk, CT last weekend, this was the first small hike I did after surgery. I wanted to test how much I could do. It was a fairly short hike and was only moderately steep close to the falls, but I was happy to be able to do it.

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It seems to be taking me forever to get my New Zealand photos completed, but here are a couple of other sets. I hope you enjoy. The two new sets are:

Greymouth to Fox Glacier
Fox Glacier to Te Anau

Countryside north of Te Taho

Countryside south of Te Taho

Fiddlehead near Fox Glacier

Fox Glacier

Lake Wanaka

Lake Wakatipu

I've been away from posting for awhile. We are contemplating the idea of getting married. Most people thought that when Connecticut started to allow same sex couples to marry, we would just do it. Not so fast. I'm thrilled that we have the right for marriage equality in Connecticut. I just wish we had access to those really big ticket items at the federal level. Still, this is not the time to be stingy. How dare I ask for what straight couples have during this economic downturn? And, there's an argument to be made for that I suppose. I'm just finding it hard to get my head around that idea that some states are reasoning that now that the economic climate is so grim, that now is the time to allow gay couples to marry because it will bring in more revenue.

Who does benefit from legalizing gay marriage? Obviously, gay and lesbian couples who want a deeper, more meaningful commitment towards one another, the way straight couples do; and that should be reason enough to convince anyone with a heart. But, to those who think only in terms of money, there is also an economic benefit: Couples seeking recognition and marriage benefits wouldn't move to states that provide them, keeping much-needed tax dollars in a state that's already facing economic hardships.

Let's evaluate our reasoning for disallowing gay marriage, from a conservative viewpoint: First, we have the "morality" argument, driven by a religious belief that homosexuality is sinful. By that standard, we'd have a laundry list of things we DO permit that we'd then have to remove due to biblical standards, including shaving and grooming of facial hair and the eating of shellfish (not to mention our willingness to start wars).

Second, we have the argument that homosexual relationships don't lead to natural births. But again, that argument ignores key facts, among them the fact that straight couples who are incapable of having children, too, are allowed to wed.

Finally, there is also the argument that allowing gay marriage will lead to abuse in the system; that straight men or women will marry a member of the same sex simply to receive the benefits a marriage would grant them. That argument is moot, however, for two reasons: first, "marriages of convenience" already exist within the current system of marriage, and second, our government is perfectly content with recognizing such relationships as legitimate. (source)

Yes, I guess it would lead to more money for the state, and I see all the other reasons for doing it that the article mentioned. The sad thing for me is, why did we have to go through all of this before people could see how unfair this all is? Are people in this country that mean spirited and divided against us? Apparently, they are.

So that really just comes back to us as a couple. We have to look at marriage as a commitment to each other (but we've already done that -- I think being together 33+ years proves that), because aside from state protections which are nice (let's not forget that hospital visitation is on that list as long as we stay in Connecticut, along with other medical directives), but the bottom line is, my country won't recognize it, nor do other states. So it's nice, but if we travel outside of Connecticut or Massachusetts, it means nothing.

In fact, it makes filing taxes a hassle. We would have to prepare two federal tax claims - one as single individuals (that will be submitted to the IRS), and one where we are a married couple (that would not be valid to submit to the IRS). We have to do that because Connecticut would allow us to get married and file jointly, BUT, we have to submit our federal filing report as a married couple to them. So it's more effort.

We talked about it last night at dinner. There are so many people I'd like to be there, but most of them are in Idaho and as it stands now, going there for the wedding is not legal. So, many people that I love would not make it. I'm thinking of a small ceremony, maybe at our home, with a few local friends, with dinner and a celebration. Not exactly what I had hoped for, but Connecticut is not where we grew up or came from. But would that change everything? It seems like your wedding day should be right up there with the "happiest day of your life", but I don't think it would be because so many wouldn't be there.

It gets me down on so many levels.

But I guess you have to see it for what it is. Like this older couple. I read this and asked, why put it off? But them I go back and forth. It should have something to do with happiness and celebrating what we have, not how many weren't there. And for me, that why I've been dragging my feet on it. I wanted marriage equality and to be treated like everyone else, but after this bitter battle to get basic equality, it's like ruined it for me.

On other issues, we are going to the mall again. We've decided to bite the bullet and get the Nikon D300 for our next camera. I'll keep the D200 and will send it to Nikon for a tune up. It's nice to be able to do this stuff during these tough times.

It goes to show how out of touch I am... the Academy Awards are on tonight and I didn't even know. But, I just happened to tune in as I was channel surfing in time to see the movie, Milk, win an award. It was very sweet indeed. And if Harvey were alive, it would blow his mind that all these years later, an Academy Award is being given to a movie that celebrated his life, and what he gave to us. In a word, Hope. And we have to keep that going because if we don't, life isn't worth sticking around for.

I have hope that within the next four years, we can start to turn this awful economy around. That my friends will stop losing their jobs. That all gay Americans who want to serve in the United States military will be able to do so openly and proudly.

I have hope that a bill will be passed that enforces the will of the fourteenth amendment of the United States Constitution and will in one stroke strike down all the hateful state amendments that were passed prohibiting legal recognition of our relationships, and will finally say that just because we are gay or lesbian, that our relationships are just as valid as any other marriage across our nation, and those relationships deserve the label of marriage.

Hope is so important. I finally want to hope for decency. An off comment I suppose. But something happened last week in Hartford. A 26 year old man was driving along on I-84. He parked his car in the middle of the freeway, and for the next 3 hours, traffic in both directions was closed down because the man in the parked car had a gun to his head. He had lost hope. I wanted to reach out to him. I felt horrible that he somehow found himself in such an empty and lonely place.

And all around me at work, people were saying, "I wish he'd pull the trigger already so they can clean up the mess and get traffic going again." Honestly, is this what we have become?

I don't know what to say to that. I'm sad that as a society we have lost our humanity and compassion. And I'm so terribly thankful that I cried with thankfulness when I heard that the police were able to talk the man down so he could get some help.

I'm thankful that I am very much human, that I have compassion and love for others, and that I still have hope in my heart.

The photos below have little to do with that, but I have wanted to say these things all week ever since that man wanted to end his life. We all have moments that are low, but we have to think that there are people who care and love us. ALL of us! Remember that.

These were taken when we were in New Zealand in December. They are the first of the South Island photos. Feel free to view the full album on Flickr.

Where's this wonderful weather we are supposed to have today? I was planning on a nice walk/hike somewhere and maybe a few photos along the way, but it is now sleeting and windy. They said today was going to be the best weather day of the weekend. It seems that the weather people always get it wrong in the North East. So, I'm just going to do wash today, and go to a movie later. Kent is in Washington, D.C. for meetings until next Wednesday. So it's just me and the cats.

I finished of the photos we took of the North Island of New Zealand. If anyone would like to see the complete upload of all sets of the North Island, here is the link. This is the last photo of the set.

Raukawa Falls

This was the last place we visited on the North Island of New Zealand. It's a bit different from other locations we stayed at because of the alpine terrain, but had it's own beauty.

This was where we stayed, the Bayview Chateau

One of the volcanoes in the area

A few more photos from our trip to New Zealand. We loved Lake Taupo. The town was nice, that lake was beautiful, and it was really the first day that the weather was really nice. These are some of our photos.

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Sunset from our room

The Maori Carvings at Mine Bay on Lake Taupo

Sunset from our room

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